so i found out tonight that the longest relationship i've ever been able to sustain my be ending. unfortunately, this is not one that can be asuaged by going out and banging out a bunch of broads. that's we.re all broken language, by the way, not mine. regardless, i'm in a bit of a state of disarray. where do i go from here? interestingly enough, the one place i think i'd like to go turns out to be one of the newest relationships in my life, but that is a complete bag of shit when it comes to being there when you need there. knowwhatimsayin? probably not, as i like to be elusive at times. so, here's the run down:
-possible job interview coming up. could be good. could be crazy.
-applying to school for the fall. not really sure if i want to go.
-writing a lot of music that i don't know what to do with. not being as dilligent with it as i'd like.
-feeling lethargic and despondant.
-took the gres. did fairly well, suprisingly, especially considering my horrible grammar and spelling.
-am still deciding on the 2006 primary, but it's going to be good, i promise.
-hating the unsolid ground i stand on.
-happy i'm "supporting myself," unhappy that i'm not doing a very good job of it.
-unhappy the "supporting myself" means giving up what i love, even if at least temporarily.
-feeling like i swallowed a bug.
-had some pizza. it was pretty good.
-still loving apple juice.
-not super stoked about the future. hoping that changes soon.
-not completely sure why i write here, nor why i'm as honest as i am.
-wish people i cared about were more consistant with their contact. i could be better as well, but it's not rare for me to send out a line, and not recieve one back.
-wish i had a "sunday friend."
-wish more people understood the concept of a "sunday friend."
-still love brownie sundaes.
i guess that's the most of it for now. my love to you,
pj
