pjbond

is there ever really anything new? i really hope so

Saturday, September 28, 2002

i'm really fucking upset and angry right now. its not just because some fucking asshole meathead tried to fight me for something that was his own fault, and its not just because nobody there besides my friends seemed to give a fuck that this kid was a shithead, but because it has gotten to the point where i have lost some of my faith in the general public. some people i know think that having the lowest expectations for everyone solves everything so that you're never hurt, others think just turning your head solves all problems. so many people think that nice guys finish last. do you realize that nice people make this world more enjoyable? do you realize that good friends and family are amazing, and can help you realize that there are many people out there that could join that list. its like that cheezy saying goes, something like, there's all those people out there that are best friends that you just haven't met yet. i don't know, i don't have answers, but i know that i walked away tonight, i had beer thrown in my face, i had people try and hit me, i was kicked, yelled at, made fun of in every possible way, and yet i still stayed non violent. many people would call me a "pussy," or something along those lines, try and make me seem like 'less of a man,' yet i see them as animals, people concerned with looking good, with acting tough, and yet in some small way, i still have to come into contact with these people, worry about my stuff being fucked up because they are friends with people who live here, and come whenever they want. why do people have to be so callous and shitty? why can't they just be nice to each other? i started the night out thinking things would be fun and intelligent, and ended it with a face full of rain and beer, and a heart full of contempt. i hate fucking meatheads. makes me want to stop drinking. not that i was drunk, but seeing those kids makes me want to be come a militant sxe kid. oh well, fuck him. fuck hate. fuck me.