things are not going so well. this thing only seems to happen when i'm very happy or very upset. i suppose people reading this (yea, ok, that happens, but still) would think that i am some sort of manic depressive person.

i have not been happy for a long time. this does not seem to make sense. i wish i could attribute it to something specific, but i can't. it has ruined the good things in my life. or are those the things that make me unhappy? i'd like to think they're not, but i haven't been right about much in a while.

its pretty hard to figure out what is wrong. will i be able to tell now? part of me doesn't want to know at all, and part of me would like to know, just so i could move on to the next chapter of my life, alone or together.

so tonight i was told that i cannot give enough. that it has become all to apparent that i have grown distant. she said to me "when i'm with you i feel like i'm on a cloud, but then i look down at you on the ground." could she be more wonderful or more amazing? i don't think so.

greg seems to have found love again. i wish i could with all of my heart. except i want to find it in this same girl. she means more to me than anyone knows, because for whatever reason i have not been able to show it.