tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33566312011-04-21T13:46:59.286-04:00pjbondis there ever really anything new? i really hope sothe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comBlogger491100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1156405380490921632006-08-24T03:38:00.000-04:002006-08-24T03:43:00.500-04:00the city is hauntedi've heard thatthe city is haunted.my biggest problem is that i fear it's populated with one's i love.i've finished wishing, temporarily.i've finished caring,for the moment.this has gone on long enough,don't you think?i've done my wrongs,i wish to end the issues, problems, moments.i wish you never noticed me.i think.when will we give up?when will we stop this bullshit?time and time and the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1151686709639022692006-06-30T12:56:00.000-04:002006-06-30T12:58:29.650-04:00the thousand mile itchthe thousand mile itchit started so close i thought i could take care of itbut then it moved so far away that i couldn't reach it with even the longest armssomehow it's both deep inside and completely externalsometimes i just wish it would go away.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1151037731685616742006-06-23T00:39:00.000-04:002006-06-23T00:42:11.700-04:00it sucks so much because i wish i didn't care, i wish i didn't care at all. but, i do. i do care. i must remove myself, because the little taste was oh so good, so good, too good. it hurt. it was that good. sometimes that is a beautiful hurt. i'm not sure if it feels that way now. i wish i didn't care. i wish i hated, in a way. i wish i didn't care. i wish i didn't care. what sucks isthe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1151031247337097712006-06-22T22:51:00.000-04:002006-06-22T22:54:07.346-04:00what a fucking suprisehello, hi, i'm not sure why i thought anything would be different this time.i hate the fact that i still care.not in a "it never went away" kind of still.in the sense that it still feels amazing.in the sense that it hurts and the fucking sucks.i won't lie, at times i still think you suck.or at least you have aspects that you hold on to.for some reason.i'm told we should never want to change the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1150057541065998372006-06-11T16:23:00.000-04:002006-06-11T16:25:41.076-04:00i woke up earlier than i thought i would, so i put on my morning jacket to keep the cold outside of my chest, to keep the warmth of my lungs and heart inside. my ribs clung tight to my clothes, the sleep still wet in my eyes. i could see my insides coming out in puffy, smoke-like breaths, my pointless attempt to warm the world. the crisp, cool air reminded me to hold on tight, so i shoved my the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1146618301436174982006-05-02T20:57:00.000-04:002006-05-02T21:07:14.806-04:00...with what little bit i have left,i feel that i need to retreat.tuck my tail,head for the hills.once if only once, if only once,i thought i had things under control.from up above we see the skies,we see the ground, the streets.it once made sense from up above,the land spread out below."did you solve the problem,"she asked, knowing full well i never would."can you solve the problem,"she asked,the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1141960164144142122006-03-09T22:09:00.000-05:002006-03-09T22:09:24.146-05:00...long days.tomorrow i get to go home.i miss the smell of burning wood.new songs make me happy.i think i'm going insane.short nights.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1141960138263416972006-03-09T22:07:00.000-05:002006-03-09T22:08:58.276-05:00writing emails to passifythis came at the tail end of a response to basically feeling confused and partially empty. you've got to love relationships that never happened:clear your head, clear your heart, clear you eyes. clarity will only bring you happiness.i have faith that you'll find happiness, and i hope it fills your entire being.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1136622408524254252006-01-07T03:22:00.000-05:002006-01-07T03:26:49.173-05:00if i've ever apologized, fuck you.if i've ever apologized, fuck you.if i've ever apologized, fuck you.this does not mean i hate you. i know it sounds like i do. but i wanted to yell at you so badly tonight, i needed the release, i wanted to be pissed. but, i did not feel that it was fair, so i kept quiet for a while. when i let myself get angry about something little, you freaked out. so i the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1134789884335811852005-12-16T22:17:00.000-05:002005-12-16T22:24:44.346-05:00so i found out tonight that the longest relationship i've ever been able to sustain my be ending. unfortunately, this is not one that can be asuaged by going out and banging out a bunch of broads. that's we.re all broken language, by the way, not mine. regardless, i'm in a bit of a state of disarray. where do i go from here? interestingly enough, the one place i think i'd like to go turns the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1133757003534994342005-12-04T23:28:00.000-05:002005-12-04T23:30:03.546-05:00a million little piecessometimes i feel completely alone, though i'm not totally sure why. and while i don't think that i did anything tremendously wrong, i feel guilty afraid and sorry. i do not know where these feelings come from, but i wish they would just go away. have you ever felt this?the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1133296559498184602005-11-29T15:29:00.000-05:002005-11-29T15:35:59.500-05:00a chance to renewi've come to the conclusion that i have absolutely no clue what i'm doing. honestly, i don't. the thing is, i think i know what i want out of life, and i think i know what i want to do. well, kind of, sort of. but, i'm not really sure if i do. so, i'm studying for a test to go into a field that i may or may not think is perfect for me. hmm, weird. to put it bluntly, i didn't want to be the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1133235094582357582005-11-28T22:29:00.000-05:002005-11-28T22:31:34.583-05:00listening to explosions in the sky and realizing that reading, listening, walking, talking, eating, drinking, loving, sleeping, and being on my friend's interweb sites is way better than letting television eat my brain, even though television always seems hungry.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1133234738203321732005-11-28T22:25:00.001-05:002005-11-28T22:25:38.203-05:00and this is my soul.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1133234719051063022005-11-28T22:25:00.000-05:002005-11-28T22:25:19.050-05:00this is my body.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1133234249399032852005-11-28T22:10:00.000-05:002005-11-28T22:24:47.723-05:00hi,this is my blood.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1132122836843372422005-11-16T01:29:00.000-05:002005-11-16T01:33:56.853-05:00i'm sure at some point or another, you've all wanted something that you could not have. that amazing feeling of longing, hatred, disdain, love, fear, sorrow, and pain. that incredible idea that you could love something so much, but not be able to reach out and grab it. i mainly speak of a relationship with a person, though i suppose with certain people it may pertain to other things. the the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1130309320972045182005-10-26T02:32:00.000-04:002005-10-26T02:48:40.990-04:00it is 232 am, my first evening back in the eastern time zone. i write this from the dark bathroom of a friend's in louisville, ky, as my mates are trying to sleep, and the click click click of my fingers is not the most soothing sound for slumber. i've been away from home for over a month, travelling across this great nation. i, unfortunately, was not able to enjoy it as much as i would have the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1113801160419196672005-04-18T01:07:00.000-04:002005-04-18T01:14:05.263-04:00blasting through fabricsor felt,of which, i am not aware.my youth in minor and major,arpeggiated years of partically wishedre-existance.blast forward to now;sit next to me, hear me speakof a shared experiencebefore we met.you know exactly how i feel.nothing will ever feel like this again.be.here.now.blast foward to then;i will be aware of the know,this perpetuates my existancethrough shareds of the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1112300188952752252005-03-31T15:12:00.000-05:002005-03-31T15:16:28.953-05:00september never seemed so sweetthe broken airthe colored leaves.days upon days upon daysthe couches spend the nightson my back.mine eyes to the ceilingsthat don't belong to memy feet to the flooron which i should be asleep"to the tower,to the tower,"i'd scream.follow the recipe that will make you happy.make sure you spend the right time.nothing secure will turn into smiles.you'll sadly turn time the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1104304353935667892004-12-29T02:11:00.000-05:002004-12-29T02:12:33.936-05:00i'd like to meet a lady, because when i'm home i get quite bored and a bit lonely. having a woman around to eat with and watch films with is awesome. well, i'm pretty happy regardless, but if you're a fun lady and would like to watch a movie or eat a meal with me, get in touch! pj@outsmartingsimon.com
the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1095801144131022612004-09-21T17:09:00.000-04:002007-09-22T23:36:32.054-04:00so, i'm in the studio with my band now. it's weird and amazing. i love these kids. since they're all here, and i don't have a girlfriend, my phone never rings. it's very strange, but i almost like that i don't have to worry about ignoring anyone; however, it would be really nice to have someone to ignore. not in a bad way, i promise. if you feel like checking up and saying hello, i'd love the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1092557968262251032004-08-15T04:12:00.000-04:002004-08-15T04:19:28.263-04:00a sense of security rains down on me
like the drops from a half-clogged shower head.
the dirt at me feet seems to have come from my head,
how painfully sensable.
i will wish on fallen eyelashes
and at 11:11
because i am too proud to pray
to a god i still feel semi-disassociated with,
like my older brother's friends.
i wish for things that don't seem to make much sense,
and i do it over
and the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1084843054552844022004-05-17T21:17:00.000-04:002004-05-17T21:17:34.553-04:00i am so sorry.
i am so sorry.
i am so sorry.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1084294226087061212004-05-11T12:44:00.000-04:002004-05-11T12:50:26.086-04:00the whale
sucked through teeth like filters
the summer solstace brings brine,
no brackish, salted water
pick up the pieces of the now dead,
recently deceased,
children of the sun.
tidal waves of ocean
wash across the face of rocks sent out to sea
broken barges,
abandoned ships,
the captain went down with the crew he never knew.
so here it comes to destroy
everything we've built
with heart or the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1077087964786635892004-02-18T02:06:00.000-05:002004-02-18T02:07:59.623-05:00i am very much in love with an incredibly wonderful girl who is way to good for me, yet crazy. that is not a bad thing, just a matter of fact.
i am incredibly into the derrangement of senses.
i let the city bite my feet.
i wish at least i did.
i fear growing up,
not for the act of getting old,
but for the lack of being good,
for the lack of showing love,
for the lack of the smile,
for the lack the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1067839075672414242003-11-03T00:57:00.000-05:002003-11-03T00:57:53.770-05:00here is a funny video about nuclear missles. i realize that this is not normally a funny subject, but this is. at least i think so. and its a joke. if you can't take a joke, you're probably an asshole. i'm only joking. seriously though, if you don't, i understand, but we do not need to be serious all of the time, we do need to take time to smile.
http://members.cox.net/impunity/endofworld.swfthe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1067275993159803482003-10-27T12:33:00.000-05:002003-10-27T12:33:12.523-05:00did you ever get that feeling where you just don't know what to do?
life has been so great and so not great for a while now that its definitely been a bit harder than i would like. i want so bad to be really happy, and i have so many wonderful reasons to be so. but i also have reasons to not be happy, and unfortunately, they keep coming up and reintroducing themselves. the majority of the the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1066869261216580992003-10-22T20:34:00.000-04:002003-10-22T20:34:21.000-04:00right around this time last year i went on my first date with the most amazing girl in the world. it was a sunday night, and we went for a walk. at the time i thought things might be cool with us, but i never knew what i was getting into. in the past i've thought similar things about some girls, but never this strongly, and they never worked out anyway. but things with her worked out, and in the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1065146219430094132003-10-02T21:56:00.000-04:002003-10-02T21:56:58.753-04:00with each new day i clear the dew
off of everything that surrounds me
the dust would settle
were it not for wet wounds on walls.
still, we fight for every breath that
escapes our grasp
our finger tips
our tensed wrists
our punctured lungs.
we fight for each and every word
that fights to leap
from our tongues, our teeth
we fight to change the waters that flow
around our fronts and backs,
not the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1065059691961283092003-10-01T21:54:00.000-04:002003-10-01T21:54:51.340-04:00what is passion? do we really have it?
i realized i have it. i have it in spurts. it is a monster that changes shape daily.
i've realized that things are not black and white.
i've realized that i have to fess up to myself.
i need to give space.
i need to take care of people as much as i can.
last night was wonderful. meem and i spent time together in smiles and happiness. i missed her the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1063780891355254712003-09-17T02:41:00.000-04:002003-09-17T02:41:31.103-04:00eva never came.
things are fucking crazy.
a friend from high school emailed me, and she and i never got a chance to get close, so it was really nice to hear from her. one of those people you always wonder how they are. she's doing well. thats cool, i'm happy about that.
sometimes trees bear fruit...sometimes they're bare. i can only hope my tree will bear fruit again in the future. at least the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1062694256564567552003-09-04T12:50:00.000-04:002003-09-04T12:50:56.616-04:00as always, i'm come crawling back to blogger at times of mania or depression. well, not quite either, thats a bit rash i suppose. regardless, mountains, not valleys.
tonight we're playing in philly, which should be interesting, because eva from fata is coming to check us out, or at least she says she is. if she picks us up, things could change forever, and if she doesn't we could be left the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-1062570467887358382003-09-03T02:27:00.000-04:002003-09-03T02:27:47.920-04:00soon, soon, soon. i promise.the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-925679662003-04-14T02:31:00.000-04:002003-04-14T02:31:10.466-04:00i remember 01. the new year would come and i would have trouble remembering to write it on my homework. it was always very confusing, especially because we did not write it when we started a new school year, rather after our winter break. did that ever seem significant enough for an added digit? i always forget things like this. 2001 brought a lot of pain to me, but ultimately got me out of the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-916901982003-03-31T00:47:00.000-05:002003-03-31T00:47:12.420-05:00things are not going so well. this thing only seems to happen when i'm very happy or very upset. i suppose people reading this (yea, ok, that happens, but still) would think that i am some sort of manic depressive person.
i have not been happy for a long time. this does not seem to make sense. i wish i could attribute it to something specific, but i can't. it has ruined the good things inthe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-856323012002-12-07T03:28:00.000-05:002002-12-07T03:28:52.950-05:00hey all...i haven't updated in a while, but i suppose thats nothing new. so i guess i'll let you know what i'm doing with my life. i've found a lady who is quite possibly one of the sweetest, prettiest, smartest, most wonderful women i have ever met. things can be crazy at times, cause lets face it, i'm crazy, but regardless, the fact that this girl exists makes my world happier, to know that the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-839416352002-11-02T21:59:00.000-05:002002-11-02T21:59:14.183-05:00last night was halloween. it was quite fun. well, sort of. yea, it was fun. perry took a bunch of pictures, which appear here. eventually more stuff may end up there, but what the hell, look through them and enjoy. we existed as follows:
nick-80's skater/punk
nancy-black panther
amelia-laid back angel
me-poor excuse for marty mcfly
perry-speed racer
chris-kid who broke xedgex
lara-damsel ofthe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-839413432002-11-02T21:50:00.000-05:002002-11-02T21:50:33.906-05:00bits
and pieces
of your face
are stuck
in my mind
like glass.
and yet i'm unsure
of every step i take
every insignificant word i utter
every lock of hair i stroke
every piece of dust i rub from my eyes.
still, we react to our hearts
still i treat each day as new
project my feelings on the side of a building
project my thoughts on you.
take your time to walk here,
the streets are ever so dangerousthe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-837079222002-10-29T03:30:00.000-05:002002-10-29T03:30:57.056-05:00up
up
up
up
hmm...i think i stole that from ani?
things flip each and every day. they twist and turn and take new shape. this includes my heart and head. but you know what? i welcome them all. i welcome the happiness and sadness of each new crazy day. it reminds me i'm alive. i have a smile on my face. thats huge. huuuuuuge. my cheeks are red from late night walks. my stomach growling the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-835864532002-10-27T04:33:00.000-05:002002-10-27T04:33:55.920-05:00i met someone amazing who is equally as crazy. i'm not sure if i should fall deeply in love or run for the hills. both are options i welcome whole-heartedly after many moons of solitude. the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-827719212002-10-09T22:53:00.000-04:002002-10-09T22:53:34.013-04:00well, my friends took me out last night, and ruined me. i turned 21, and they were going to make sure i knew it. i drank more than should be humanly possible, but i'm alive now, so i guess its ok. i didn't go to any of my classes today, and my folks came down to take me dinner. they said i stunk like booze. hehe. well, thankfully thats over, and i can get on with my life. fucking stupid the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-822282672002-09-28T03:34:00.000-04:002002-09-28T03:34:09.816-04:00i'm really fucking upset and angry right now. its not just because some fucking asshole meathead tried to fight me for something that was his own fault, and its not just because nobody there besides my friends seemed to give a fuck that this kid was a shithead, but because it has gotten to the point where i have lost some of my faith in the general public. some people i know think that having the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-765851482002-05-15T14:52:00.000-04:002002-05-15T14:52:37.203-04:00so i've been going pretty crazy lately. i know nobody checks this, so i never update it. but finals are done, i need to get the van fixed and pick up a couch before saturday, which is gonna be pretty rough, but its the only thing i have to do now, which is nice. we leave for tour sunday/monday!!! i'm mother excited. hopefully one of these days i'll get a little more motivation to write the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-751573952002-04-08T05:16:00.000-04:002002-04-08T05:16:26.630-04:00i'm fairly sure that my geocities web page is down for good, which is sort of shitty, because the last time i tried to edit it i ended up erasing it, so now there isn't even my old site up, but just blank. not that anyone visited it, but it just seemed sort of cool. oh well. i guess this will have to do. i wish i could make this a little more customized. i'll have to figure out how i can the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-109330262002-03-20T10:36:00.000-05:002002-03-20T10:36:06.736-05:00hello. greg and i are in the uk right now. we're in cambridge, where my brother goes to school, and tomorrow we leave for glasgow, scotland. the next day we'll head back into england to london, and on saturday we leave. we haven't been doing much, just hanging out, soaking up the sights and sounds, and going out for drinks with friends in the evenings. its really chill hear, and i greatly the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-103246722002-03-03T03:10:00.000-05:002002-03-03T03:10:48.736-05:00fucking fucking bastards. i'm pissy tonight. ask me why later. its about the show we played. the peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-100954222002-02-25T03:32:00.000-05:002002-02-25T03:32:31.143-05:00i suppose this works...cool. i'll get to updating it at a more convienent time. --pjthe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356631.post-100953172002-02-25T03:27:00.000-05:002002-02-25T03:27:11.110-05:00so, i'm wondering if this thing actually works, and more importantly, if anyone cares. we'll see. --pjthe peejhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12280474301030506653noreply@blogger.com